Y’all, I need to revisit a topic from a couple weeks ago. I was scrolling through my human bagels yesterday, minding my own business, and once more encountered the lawyer/magician on my screen. After some reflection, I have to admit that a wave of guilt washed over me.
Shut up all you people who have like, created human life and shoved actual babies out of your platinum vagines! I don’t want to hear about it! Because I just spent a month in labor with a spec script and THE BIRTHING PROCESS WAS EXHAUSTING. Someone get me a push present!
I cannot believe it has taken me this long to actually get around to watching the Bachelor. I’m not trying to make excuses (ok, no, I am blatantly making excuses), but between having to work at work and then trying to make my dreams come true, I have been losing it a little.*…. I don’t know how I did it, but I actually went like three days without even watching TV! It was horrible and I hope to never repeat this experience.
But today, spec script draft finish, I decided to procrastinate on the personal statement and resume portion of my application packet with my favorite thing– reality TV. Maybe it’s the rush of dopamine that flooded my brain at the sight of Nick’s dopey toilet-rose pose, but I had so many thoughts about this week’s episode that I can’t wait to share with you!
HI EVERYONE! Sorry that I haven’t posted today. I have been typety-type-typing away at this Bob’s Burger spec script so I *still* haven’t been able to watch the Bachelor (and I heard this week was great– you know I’m serious about this writing career since I have no reality-TV willpower).
Fortunately, I have something really cool to share with you during this busy period! I know you guys are super cool and are fans of Gangstagrass. Well Rench just announced his upcoming solo album by dropping a video for his great new single that was featured in Rolling Stone today…. and I KNOW THE DIRECTOR*. His name is Daniel Lafrentz and he crushed it, big time.**
Watch the video. Maybe dance a little, drink some wine, watch it again, have a cookie, I don’t know your life. And if you want to check out more of Daniel’s work he has a website here.
*Gotta make this all about me, obvi! Actually if I may reflect for a moment, it’s super cool to be at a place in life where I know really creative, amazing people who are starting to get real traction in achieving their dreams. It’s very inspiring and cool!
**I’d embed the video but my WordPress account doesn’t support it. Sorry guys.
Hey folks. I want to take a minute out of our regularly scheduled programming of TV and snark to be real for a minute.
Writing is like folding oragami. Your innermost thoughts are the paper. The fancy kind, vibrant and pattered on the top, exposed face, but a soft, gentle color underneath. You fold and fold and hope that at the end you’ll have something that will delight and impress. But until the very last step, you don’t know if the crane you see in your mind’s eye. You might have to stand in front of the class and present your fancy paper creased into an unrecognizable, crumpled mess.
Exposing the raw seams to other people is hard. It’s making yourself vulnerable, letting the people you’re closest to– whose opinions matter the most– see who you really are. I’ve never done it before now. Sending a draft of a piece, or even hitting “Publish” on these posts, is a trepidatious act….
But I know that this is the time to do or die. And you have been so kind, supportive, and loving, that I am encouraged to continue. I can’t say enough how grateful I am for all of you. Thank you for helping me grow.
Welp y’all, I’m going to hell (“I’m so surprised” = you). Here’s the story.
My friend and I were hanging out, each of us looking up each of our ex-boyfriends (IT WAS FOR SCIENCE, I SWEAR) when I made an interesting discovery. I made an interesting discovery when I was looking up Boyfriend Numero Dos, my ex from high school.* His list number is appropriate because he was a shitty boyfriend, and in retrospect his breaking up with me (yep, my OT level is so low that shitty boyfriends always end up breaking up with me, rather than vice versa) was the best thing that could have happened to me.
I searched his unique-enough name and his over-a-decade-old unique-enough email handle. I didn’t see a Facebook account, Linkedin page, or anything else that would provide the information I needed (FOR SCIENCE), but I did find…
A federal criminal docket! Dude was apparently (allegedly**) dumb enough to steal from the federal government! But what, you might ask? A truck full of gold bricks from Fort Knox? The Declaration of Independence? Come on people, this is not National Treasure. No, in the year of our lord 2014, he took….
HEY TEAM! Just a quick advanced warning that I am going to be sadly delayed in this week’s Bachelor recap. Not because I am ANY LESS ENTHUSIASTIC about how Corinne will pivot now that her mind-control techniques have failed, but because I am finishing up a spec script to apply to Nickelodeon’s fellowship program. I have been burning the candle at both ends trying to get it done but am just way behind, so I have to deny myself the pleasure of Bachelor-watching until it’s done. I’m deeply sorry and I promise to make it a good one as soon as my application is in!