If nothing else, online dating has already been a rich source of humor. Figured I’d share some of my favorite moments from the fine gentlemen of Circle Carb Brown Caffeine….
Some of the finest gold can be panned from responses to the prompt, “I appreciate when my date….”
A response from one extremely charming candidate: “nice. By ‘nice’, I don’t mean a bible-thumping, republican, up-tight putz who could make a diamond out of a lump of coal. I mean a girl who is capable of having a decent conversation that doesn’t center around her shoe collection; who is aware of the world around her; who is respectful of people and animals, who doesn’t clip her fingernails on the train; who puts a smile on people’s face. Someone with a brain, a sense of humor, and a job.” Thank you for enumerating this oddly variable mix of general and specific requirements, sir! You seem like a lovely gentleman who would be an engaging and enjoyable partner! And may have actually convinced me to begin clipping my fingernails on the train!
Another fine young man responded that he wants a date who: “doesn’t argue for the sake of arguing only, Is not a drama queen, or a diva“. He clearly has no issues of his own!
And the biggest peach of all wants a date who “shows up on time, is open minded, cooks for me.” It isn’t too late for me to connect with this fine fellow! What do you think folks, should I ask him if he’s rich? Because if he’s rich, I’ll cook! 1950s, we’ve missed you!
Last but not least, this guy is actually kind of endearing…. In response to the prompt “I am…”, he responded, “a jack off all trades.” Nonironically. STAY GOLD, PONYBOY!