I Might as Well Make This into a Dean Fansite (It’d be more fun that watching the Bachelorette Men Tell All)

On Monday, the men of this season of the Bachelorette might have told all… but I must admit, I didn’t listen to most.

Look, normally I am ready to do my duty. Even when it feels like my eyeballs are going to fall out from how hard they’re rolling around in my head, I watch every minute of the weekly Qwest for Twue Wuv so that I can then snark about it to y’all. But this week… I just couldn’t.

Let’s be real– men/women tell all is never very good. It’s a crass play by ABC to pump up another week of ad sales. Sometimes, occasionally, the women offer interesting moments, but the men almost never have much interesting to say. I love a good bromance, but not when it’s heavily staged and overproduced….

And to be even realer, I really didn’t want to watch a rehash of the Kenny/Lee drama.

Soooo…. I dropped in on the last 45 minutes of the Men Tell All, and that was kinda still too much. The only real highlights for me were every single moment Dean spent on screen. For example:

  1. Dean’s attire. SO SHARP. I *loved* his camo suit jacket. I swear that I do not look at the social media accounts of any other reality TV personages… but I can’t help it, Deanie Babies is so delightful! Especially when he does things like poll his adoring public about what he should wear on M.T.A. (yes, it shares an acronym with the NYC subway system) and then completely ignore their feedback on every outfit choice because he really wants to wear a gray and black camo jacket.
  2. Dean’s articulation that you shouldn’t try to make people feel better when you break up with them by saying nice stuff. It’s confusing! IF YOU THINK I’M SO GREAT, WHY ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME?
  3. Dean’s habit of putting his gum behind his ear. Lololol. Adorable!

Again, wasn’t such a huge fan of Rachel this episode. As usual I’m not a fan of her ultraheavy ring accessories, just like I’m not a fan of her ultra-processed talk-show persona. She’s better when she’s interacting with real people or speaking to the camera. Something about talking to Chris Harrison makes everyone seem like their personalities have been sanded and lacquered.

Speaking of Chris Harrison, so gross that he was hyping Paradise as “already controversial.” Still trying to decide if I have the willpower and inner goodness to not watch. I predict that I do not.

Only a few short days until Rachel rejects the possibility of long-term happiness with Peter and cements her place on Bryan’s mother’s hit list! Can’t wait!

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