Y’all, I have been thinking about Rachel’s Bachelorette season on and off over the summer. Partly because Dean really proved himself to be a certified, grade-A Hot Mess once left to his own devices in Paradise. But partly because a question has really nagged at me– could Rachel really, truly be happier with Bryan than with Peter? After that brutal final encounter of raw heartbreak between Peter and Rachel– and the quick edit to the “happy ending” of Bryan offering Rachel a typically fugly Neil Lane sparkler– I have had a hard time buying into the possibility that Rachel actually made the right choice….
But now I’m not so sure.
The more I think about it (and the more of my eggs that jump off a cliff, screaming about their certain doom) I have come around to the idea of Bryan. Yes, he probably has cheek implants…. Yes, he comes off as smarmy and not very bright…. Yes, his relationship with his mother is completely toxic to any woman who tries to establish a romantic relationship with him…. Ok, that one is still a dealbreaker. But maybe the other ones aren’t.
Because what he does offer is complete, unquestioning admiration and belief that Rachel is the be-all, end-all of women. Peter appreciated Rachel’s depth and multiple layers, could speak with her (kind of) like an equal, and was (kind of) interesting. Oh, plus his cheeks were normal. But Peter had doubts. Doubts about whether Rachel was the one, and about whether his relationship with her could stand the buffeting of life’s ever-changing winds.
Doubt almost killed Tinkerbell, and doubt kills twue love too.
Think about it. What’s the #1 thing two people who love each other have to do to make it work? Believe that they can make it work. It seems to me that for people who are generally adult, reliable, trustworthy, etc. (no cheating, no major incompatibilities about finances, children, etc.) that believing that the relationship will make it if they do the work to stick together– is what keeps people doing the work to stick together.
If you’re a Doubting Peter… you’re always looking for reasons that things are going to fall apart. But if you’re a Believer Bryan… you’re a committer. You might not be perfect but you will show up no matter what. And for a high-strung/insecure gal like Rachel (and, let’s face it– many of us, in modern society)– that’s the encouragement you need to keep things alive in your own mind. If you’re with a doubter, you doubt. If you’re with a believer, you believe.
So maybe Bryan was the right choice after all. Mazel tov, you crazy kids.