G.O.T. HAWT TAKE: Riding the Blue-Eyed Dragon

I don’t really know what that’s supposed to be a metaphor for? But if the Game of Thrones people can just wing it, then I don’t feel bad about doing it too. [INSERT LAZY MONOLOGUE MAKING SUBTEXT OF PSYCHOLOGICAL MOTIVATIONS TEXT, THEREBY CIRCUMSCRIBING THE NEED FOR SUBTLE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT]

Normally I don’t do fiction recaps, just the pure, unvarnished truth that is reality TV…. But I’m feeling inspired, so as a gift to humanity, here’s my $0.02, in the form of free association:

  • Jon Snow – Labrador
  • Brienne of Tarth – Crossfit
  • Tyrion – sigh
  • Littlefinger – To Catch a Predator
  • Sansa – ginger
  • Aria – Abilify
  • Cersei – Abilify
  • Dany – rigid
  • Tormund – awwwww
  • The Hound – SIGH
  • White-walker dragon – woooooo!

You’re welcome!

“I’m gonna shit in Lee’s boots!” Or, Rachel’s Bachelorette Season, Week 5, Part 1

I have to admit I was not at all looking forward to this week’s Bachelorette. First of all, two episodes is one episode (ok, probably two) too many. Second, by virtue of Lee being a jerkface, a show that is supposed to be dumber than paint has turned into a microcosm of the kind of serious conflict and social issues that people generally tune into reality TV to escape…. Let’s just say that much of this week’s subject matter, while obviously worthy of discussion, was the opposite of fluff and Not Much Fun At All.

However, we did get to see the dude herd stuffed into unitards so… that’s something.

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